i can’t believe this, i thought what we had was special. you met my family and made me dinner. now all of a sudden you claim you’re a “waiter” and you’re just “doing your job”
a kiss makes ur day but anal sex makes your hole weak
made rebloggable by request
i wish someone would put $20,000 in my bank account every month and all i’d have to do is hang out with them
My milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard. GRAVEyard hahaha enjoy that cyanide milkshake you piece of shit.
my kids arent going to have bunkbeds they’re going to have punkbeds because i’ll be a hardcore mom
The year is 2540, a student in history class notices something off about his textbook. “How come these textbooks skip the years 1990 through 1999?” The teacher puts his air-marker down on the table, lowers his head, and sighs. “Because…” he lifts his head, a single tear rolls down his cheek, “… only 90’s kids remember the 90’s!”